Don' t know how I feel

H calls me from Sydney at 3.30 ny time to tell me his contract has been terminated. He leaves his job June 10th.

On the one hand, it's been a long time coming. On the other, change is scary.

But I actually feel weirdly optimistic (it may be the lack of sleep, I've been up for 3 hours, exhausted but unable to fall back asleep. I think I'll take a nap after droping bj off to school) I wanted to stay in ny and now we will. H has always been lucky with work and there is no reason why his luck shouldn't hold. People change jobs all the time, our safety net is good. And we get to stay in ny. That's becoming more real to me. I wasn't ready to leave, and now we get to stay. I don't know for how long, but 3 years or so will do us good. I want to get a job here. My visa will permit it for the time being.

So that's my news. Still mulling it over, but feel okay.

sorry for the long respite... my mother has been visiting and somehow I didn't find time to write even though we did have time apart.

I just watched Inside the Actor's Studio with the pretentious James Lipton, but he gets the most amazing people to interview. Saw the one with Donald Sutherland. It's all very flattering. No question as to the choppiness of his role choice - he has made 99 films and while 25 of them are unquestioning classics, I would venture that another 25 are dogs! I actually stopped watching his stuff on name alone, despite him being a very fine actor, because so often they were so dodgy.

But that is not what I am here to talk about. I've decided to do the questionnaire he ends all his films with, so here it goes

What is your favorite word?
What is your least favorite word?
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
What turns you off?
What is your favorite curse word?
What sound or noise do you love?
What sound or noise do you hate?
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
What profession would you not like to do?
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

What is my favourite word? don't have one. Gardenia is an evocative one, both of scent and sound.
Least fav word? rape
turns me on? energy, in a big way.
turns me off? self righteousness/stupidity
fav curse word - fuck. it's a great sound and it is satisfying to say
noise to I love? rain on leaves
noise I hate? car alarms
profession other than mine that I would like? talk show host, seriously.
profession would I hate? Kindergarten teacher. There is something about being in a room full of 5 year olds that just presses my control freak buttons.
what will I say to myself in the afterlife? Next time take more risks. Don't play it so safe.