I am turning into a curmudgeon. A grumbly, nasty cynic. The blog spot link on my page said Diary of a Happy Man, a mixture of love and happiness and I think, oh yeah? It's actually quite a sweet site and I forgive him because he is only 21 but I look at the 'mixture of love and happiness' and think, where's the pain and despair. LOL. Really getting weird here.
Reminds me, saw an old J.Lo film, The Cell, where she plays a psychologist who from some convoluted plot twist can enter other people's minds. She finally decides to let them enter her mind, and it's all so serene and pretty there. She has nothing but love and kindness inside her... and even when enraged, all she does is wear a sexy black outfit, and I thought, where's your murderous dark side you bunny? We all have it, and the more we own it, the better we can control it. It's those 'I never have an unnice thought in my head' types that start putting arsenic in the candy...
stranger, getting stranger by the minute...
ps I really like the rotten tomatoes film site, which is very informative.
Tuesday, November 19, 2002
Why I'm not blogging regularly
it's not that my life isn't happening, it's just that I'm not thinking of things to write... I'm also entrapped by two computer driven obsessions. First I spent nearly $200 all up on ebay. That was fun while it lasted. Some things are really cheap but the dud buys evens it out, so it works out costing just the same as the stores. I bought one truly dreadful dress. The second after I bid on it, I was hoping someone else would come and rescue me but of course, everyone else recognised the dress for the frightening thing it was and now it's all mine. So that's where my energy is going, riding the waves of auction fever. I did however get one truly pretty summer dress (I know it's winter!) and have some black basics (velvet skirt, pants and jacket) coming... so I'd say I'm about even. But it is a huge energy sucker, as you choose what to buy, bid, get outbid, make enormous decisions, fight with lunatics, become a lunatic. Takes at least an hour a day!
And the second obsession, equally if not more time consuming and ultimately less rewarding though cheaper, is that wretched popgames site. I go from game to game, obsessing and honing useless skills on all of them I think I'm going to end up with carpel tunnel syndrome (seriously! I got a bit of it when I was pregnant and I'm getting the same unpleasant pins and needles now...) So I have to be strong and reject both as consumerist time wasters and signs of empty spirituality. I'm not even reading, I'm spending so much time mucking about on-line and both my boys are protesting. Well, it's one way to avoid looking at your marriage!
So, a word to the wise, avoid both sites!!
Had a great chat with a woman I've dubbed my surrogage sister, Di. I love it when I am actually honest and up front with people. It's an amazingly giddy experience for me. Like here... I've never been so honest, and pushing at my personal boundaries and that feels really good. Of course I am here instead of at yoga, which I am avoiding even though I want to do it... ah the self destructive elements are alive and well in me.
And how are you?
it's not that my life isn't happening, it's just that I'm not thinking of things to write... I'm also entrapped by two computer driven obsessions. First I spent nearly $200 all up on ebay. That was fun while it lasted. Some things are really cheap but the dud buys evens it out, so it works out costing just the same as the stores. I bought one truly dreadful dress. The second after I bid on it, I was hoping someone else would come and rescue me but of course, everyone else recognised the dress for the frightening thing it was and now it's all mine. So that's where my energy is going, riding the waves of auction fever. I did however get one truly pretty summer dress (I know it's winter!) and have some black basics (velvet skirt, pants and jacket) coming... so I'd say I'm about even. But it is a huge energy sucker, as you choose what to buy, bid, get outbid, make enormous decisions, fight with lunatics, become a lunatic. Takes at least an hour a day!
And the second obsession, equally if not more time consuming and ultimately less rewarding though cheaper, is that wretched popgames site. I go from game to game, obsessing and honing useless skills on all of them I think I'm going to end up with carpel tunnel syndrome (seriously! I got a bit of it when I was pregnant and I'm getting the same unpleasant pins and needles now...) So I have to be strong and reject both as consumerist time wasters and signs of empty spirituality. I'm not even reading, I'm spending so much time mucking about on-line and both my boys are protesting. Well, it's one way to avoid looking at your marriage!
So, a word to the wise, avoid both sites!!
Had a great chat with a woman I've dubbed my surrogage sister, Di. I love it when I am actually honest and up front with people. It's an amazingly giddy experience for me. Like here... I've never been so honest, and pushing at my personal boundaries and that feels really good. Of course I am here instead of at yoga, which I am avoiding even though I want to do it... ah the self destructive elements are alive and well in me.
And how are you?
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