Still swimming, still arguing with H, still reading too many romances, (nice one by Mary Balog) and eating too much chocolate. I know that one thing I really need is a full time job. I think I definitely have too much time on my hands and am getting bored. I was really hoping that our visa upgrade would be ready for our return, but H reckons is may be months away. I need to get out and and have more of my own life, regardless who I am married too. Part of my problem is boredom. So weird. So many work too hard and long for more time, but I don't work hard enough and have too much time...

tired and salty

taking advantage of the Sydney summer and going to the beach often. I love Maroubra beach, I think it is definitely one of the best beaches in Sydney, far better than the more famous Bondi, which is too commerical and citified now. Maroubra still has a slightly wild feel to it.

not communicating at all well with H and it is definitely impacting on bj who is becoming argumentative and not nice. But I have convinced H to have a break for just himself, and he is going off to Canberra for 4 days. I just want him to spend some time alone and think about his life and what he wants from it. I think he has no idea of how deeply unhappy I am, even though I tell him, he just doesn't hear it, or doesn't give it consequences.

Had a scare with bj today, where I thought H was taking him and he thought I was taking him and it turned out neither of us took him and he was left home alone. We found him 10 minutes later, but H was genuinely scared (more so than bj) and I think that was a good thing... It made him think about how life would be without bj, and how awful that would be.

We went to friends and all nerves were soothed eventually. BJ is entranced with the Barbie nutcracker video, and so I will go and get him a copy of his own soon.