forgot to mention that I failed the id test...
they were carding people at the door to the dance, and being quite strict about it. And when I told them I didn't have any id, the guy all in black (don't they always wear black!) looked me once over and then let me go through, but stopped my cousin's girlfriend. And then I realised... he could tell at a glance that there was no way I was under 18!!! lol...
Thursday, January 09, 2003
great evening
just finished dancing so much my belly hurts. Went to listen to something called 'world music'. Didn't have a clue what it would sound like, but it was very middle eastern with great drums. Fantastic dance music. And, joy of joys, it started at 9 pm. So I danced for a full hour and a half before my legs konked out on me. As we sat in the car I could feel my stomach muscles. Far more effective, and much more fun than a gym class.
Taking bj to intensive swimming lessons. He has a forty minute lesson for 9 days in a row, which hopefully will be enough to make him water safe and he can build on his skills from there. He hated the first class which ended in shivers and tears, but I told him he had to go the next one any way, all kids in Australia need to be water safe, and at this point in time he is not. He would drown if he fell into a pool and he needs to be able to make his way to the edge at the very least. So that's what we will be doing for the next week plus. I do so miss school! I love bj but 24/7 is just too much. Well, we found a new sweet babysitter and that should help. I almost couldn't go out tonight, because all my babysitters had disappeared and then I thought, 'this is ridiculous, I can find a babysitter in NY but not here?!' and then I rang an agency and they sent a very nice 22 year old uni student and I got to go dancing. So a good time was had by all. Very glad I did that.
Tired now and off to bed, but it's been a better day...
just finished dancing so much my belly hurts. Went to listen to something called 'world music'. Didn't have a clue what it would sound like, but it was very middle eastern with great drums. Fantastic dance music. And, joy of joys, it started at 9 pm. So I danced for a full hour and a half before my legs konked out on me. As we sat in the car I could feel my stomach muscles. Far more effective, and much more fun than a gym class.
Taking bj to intensive swimming lessons. He has a forty minute lesson for 9 days in a row, which hopefully will be enough to make him water safe and he can build on his skills from there. He hated the first class which ended in shivers and tears, but I told him he had to go the next one any way, all kids in Australia need to be water safe, and at this point in time he is not. He would drown if he fell into a pool and he needs to be able to make his way to the edge at the very least. So that's what we will be doing for the next week plus. I do so miss school! I love bj but 24/7 is just too much. Well, we found a new sweet babysitter and that should help. I almost couldn't go out tonight, because all my babysitters had disappeared and then I thought, 'this is ridiculous, I can find a babysitter in NY but not here?!' and then I rang an agency and they sent a very nice 22 year old uni student and I got to go dancing. So a good time was had by all. Very glad I did that.
Tired now and off to bed, but it's been a better day...
Tuesday, January 07, 2003
bored with my problems
had a lovely day yesterday, lots of laughter and saw one of the most beautiful private homes I've ever seen in my life. Incredibly tasteful, looking out at the harbour, with it's own private jetty. My girlfriend was house minding and it really was spectacular. Bj was totally sweet and good and we dragged an unwilling H there after work to see the house and dine with us.
Today, as if he had used up all of his good points, bj was a total ratbag. Just awful. Cranky and naughty from the get go. It was a relief to finally get him off to bed. H came home with barely a word to us, gulped his food and then went to play with his new cell phone. I am so over it.
My girlfriend was trying to convince me to stay, saying she thought the relationship was definitely salvageable, and when I was with her, I started to agree. But tonight I'm back to my bad old vibe. I will give it the next passage in New York, and then... and then I'm pretty sure I will leave. The part that feels horrible to me is that if I were financially secure without the marriage, I would leave him tomorrow. Hard to write that. But I really think I'm staying for safety/security right now. And who wants to live like that?
had a lovely day yesterday, lots of laughter and saw one of the most beautiful private homes I've ever seen in my life. Incredibly tasteful, looking out at the harbour, with it's own private jetty. My girlfriend was house minding and it really was spectacular. Bj was totally sweet and good and we dragged an unwilling H there after work to see the house and dine with us.
Today, as if he had used up all of his good points, bj was a total ratbag. Just awful. Cranky and naughty from the get go. It was a relief to finally get him off to bed. H came home with barely a word to us, gulped his food and then went to play with his new cell phone. I am so over it.
My girlfriend was trying to convince me to stay, saying she thought the relationship was definitely salvageable, and when I was with her, I started to agree. But tonight I'm back to my bad old vibe. I will give it the next passage in New York, and then... and then I'm pretty sure I will leave. The part that feels horrible to me is that if I were financially secure without the marriage, I would leave him tomorrow. Hard to write that. But I really think I'm staying for safety/security right now. And who wants to live like that?
Sunday, January 05, 2003
My Country
by Dorothea McKellar
a poem about Australia
The love of field and coppice,
Of green and shaded lanes,
Of ordered woods and gardens
Is running in your veins.
Strong love of grey-blue distance,
Brown streams and soft, dim skies -
I know but cannot share it,
My love is otherwise.
I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror –
The wide brown land for me!
The stark white ring-barked forests,
All tragic to the moon,
The sapphire-misted mountains,
The hot gold hush of noon,
Green tangle of the brushes
Where lithe lianas coil,
And orchids deck the tree-tops,
And ferns the warm dark soil.
Core of my heart, my country!
Her pitiless blue sky,
When, sick at heart, around us
We see the cattle die –
But then the grey clouds gather,
And we can bless again
The drumming of an army,
The steady soaking rain.
Core of my heart, my country!
Land of the rainbow gold,
For flood and fire and famine
She pays us back threefold.
Over the thirsty paddocks,
Watch, after many days,
The filmy veil of greenness
That thickens as we gaze.
An opal-hearted country,
A wilful, lavish land –
All you who have not loved her,
You will not understand –
Though earth holds many splendours,
Wherever I may die,
I know to what brown country
My homing thoughts will fly.
Thought I would give you a glimpse of sunburnt Australia. We all learnt this one at school, and every so often I look it up again... I really do think it captures something of the land here.
Sunburnt in the lucky country
Got myself sunburnt today, something I am usually far too savvy to do. So I'm burning and tired and irritable. H wants sex, unthinkable in my current body and bj will not go to sleep no matter what I do. In the end I left him with the lamp on and a good book. I can't believe he is not exhausted, he's been running in and out of the surf and then chasing dogs for hours today. I'm tired looking at him!
Other than laundry I seem to have given up on household chores, so now the house is falling into a bucket. I'll tidy up tomorrow. It's 9.25 pm and I'm off to bed. Going to play with a friend tomorrow... I'd best stay out of the sun.
Got myself sunburnt today, something I am usually far too savvy to do. So I'm burning and tired and irritable. H wants sex, unthinkable in my current body and bj will not go to sleep no matter what I do. In the end I left him with the lamp on and a good book. I can't believe he is not exhausted, he's been running in and out of the surf and then chasing dogs for hours today. I'm tired looking at him!
Other than laundry I seem to have given up on household chores, so now the house is falling into a bucket. I'll tidy up tomorrow. It's 9.25 pm and I'm off to bed. Going to play with a friend tomorrow... I'd best stay out of the sun.
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